


The Office of Wizards

by SereneFreakGeek



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Accounting is FUN, Alternate Universe - No Voldemort, Alternate Universe - The Office Fusion, F/F, F/M, M/M, Mutual Pining, Office style au, POC Harry Potter, POC Hermione Granger, Pining, Pranks and Practical Jokes, slightly OOC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-26 00:32:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14390364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SereneFreakGeek/pseuds/SereneFreakGeek
Summary: A Harry Potter fanfiction based off of the tv show The Office, inspired by @paquim [tumblr and YouTube] 's video mashup of HP and the Office theme song. I don't claim to own the characters or video, only the writing of the fanfic. Please enjoy!Draco Malfoy works Executive Manager of the Wiltshire branch of Fitzgerald co. A documentary team has decided to film for a undetermined amount of time, show casing his job as well as the employees who work under him. Staring Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ronald Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Dean Thomas, and many other co-workers on the third floor of the workplace. Follow along through the drama and meetings of an office workspace.





	The Office of Wizards

**Author's Note:**

> You can find the theme song for this fanfic, [Here!](https://youtu.be/Q1fiiu6i9Ds) Created by [@paquim](http://paquim.tumblr.com) [Tumblr and YouTube], used with permission by them.

“Hello! My name is Hermione Granger and this is the Fitzgerald company, branch located in- uh- Wiltshire.” Hermione scrunches her shoulders up, shaking her head slightly toward the camera before looking at the camera-man. “Is that good? I don't know, should I say anything else-”

“Granger,” A voice yells, obviously aggravated, pushing in through the office door and walking across the studio-style room toward the only office on this floor. “I need my messages- what are you doing just standing around-” He glances toward the camera, white-blonde hair slicked back, narrowing his eyes before pointing and glaring back toward Hermione. “What's this?”

Hermione glanced toward the camera before leaning forward slightly, papers and folders in her hand in a stack shuffling slightly, “Mr. Malfoy, I'm sorry. This is the- uh- documentary team I told you about the other day?”

The man glanced at the camera again, dropping his hand before looking back to her. “I thought I told you to cancel that.”

“Yes, Sir, I tried to but your fath-” Hermione screwed her mouth up at the look she received, changing her words, “Your boss had it sent through any way. Said it would provide some much-needed coverage into the- uh- the life of an office worker.” She phrased it like a statement, but lifted her voice toward the end to make it sound almost like a question. The man glanced toward the camera again, emotions fighting on his face before he cleared his throat, straightened his posture and ran a hand down the front of his suit, and nodded toward Hermione. 

“Alright, just try to make sure it doesn't get in my way. And send my messages in. I'm expecting an important one rather soon from St Mungos.”

Hermione nodded quickly, lifting the files and papers up to her chest and writing things down on the top-most paper. “Right, Sir. On it.” The man rolled his eyes, stocking off toward the office once again. Hermione glanced toward his retreating back, watching until he slammed his door shut. The relief around the room was palpable as everyone relaxed into their seats, leaning back slightly or continuing their phone calls in a normal volume.

Turning back toward the camera, Hermione smirked, walking toward her desk and talking to the camera along the way. “That's Draco Malfoy. He's our boss down here,  _ very strict _ ,” she enunciated the last two words, laying her papers down onto the desk and lifting her fingers, widening her eyes for the full effect. She leaned forward slightly, dropping her voice down, “Though, we all believe it's because his father works as executive director of many branches of the company, including this one. I have my bet that if Lucius Malfoy wasn't his boss, he wouldn't be so harsh all the time.”

“I don't know,” A tall, lanky ginger man cut it, leaning his back against the desk next to Hermione. “I think he just needs to get laid.”

“Ronald!” Hermione chastises, widening her eyes and shaking her head, walking around the desk to sit at her chair. Ron turns in his spot, leaning against the desk and toward Hermione.

“Come on. You can't tell me that you would be  _ that _ stuck up if you got laid every weekend.” He continued to joke, smirking and grabbing a pen from Hermione’s desk to flip in the air, a restless or nervous motion. Hermione just continued to shake her head, but it was obvious she was fighting amusement on her face. 

“All I can say is that, that is an inappropriate topic of discussion at the workplace, Ron.” Hermione said strictly, organizing her folders and papers, reaching over to grab a wad of sticky notes. 

“Well, maybe we could discuss it out of the workplace then?” Ron half-whispered, ceasing his throwing of the pen and now just fiddling with it, not lifting his gaze to meet her eyes. Doing this though, he missed the look Hermione quickly gave him, looking up and biting her lip, smiling softly before shaking her head and looking down. “If maybe, you'd wanna join us- me, I mean- for after work drinks-”

“Ron,” Hermione said, keeping her voice strict, clearing her throat. “I'm sorry, it's not appropriate.” She glanced up quickly toward the camera, as if remembering it's there before blinking quickly and standing. “I need to deliver these notes to Mr. Malfoy.” She hurried away, smoothing her blouse down as she walked. 

Ron sighed, shaking his head. “Yeah, of course. I mean, who would want drinks with me right?” Ron laughed awkwardly, glancing toward the camera as he spoke with a slight pained expression. He cleared his throat, shaking his head. “Of course, aside from the guys that I go with every night. Come on,” He nodded his head toward the desks in a corner of the room and set off in the direction, the camera man following him. “I'm Ronald Weasley, the jokester of the office-”

“More like the  _ prank _ ster!” A muscled guy yelled out, grinning toward the ginger. 

“Same thing,” Ron said, rolling his eyes and grinning toward the camera. “That's Neville. He's a bit of a green thumb, if you couldn't tell.” Ron swept his hands over the desk, while standing, all in a presentory way, showing off the three succulents lining the top shelf and a hanging plant on the side of the desk. “Malfoy kept trying to throw them out and say they weren't allowed, but Neville here took initiative and filled out request forms for every plant he has here. Right, Nev?”

“Uh- I mean yeah.” He grins, leaning toward the camera, “I have another one going through. I want to get a little colour going on in here and-”

“Nev, come on, don't spoil the surprise!” Ron says, elbowing Neville and winking toward the camera. Neville just laughs, nodding before going back to his paperwork. Walking around the desk toward another pressed against it, a shorter male who sits in the corner who seems distracted with his computer, Ron leans against the desk and winks to the camera, speaking directly to it. “This is Dean Thomas. He's a nerd. A  _ huge _ nerd. The most  _ gigantic _ nerd this planet has  _ ever _ seen-”

“Ok, fine, I'll stop  _ working _ to talk to you Ron.” Dean rolled his eyes, spinning in his chair and noticing the camera, blinking a few times in confusion.

“He is another member of the after drinks club. Very professional man. We only keep him around ‘cause he brings his boyfriend to the bar too. Seamus doesn't work here though.” Ron says, smirking as it's obviously a joke.

“Ha ha. Very funny.” Dean rolls his eyes, crossing his arms. “Though I take no offense. I know that I'm less interesting than Seamus. He is the best boyfriend anyone could have.” Dean smiles softly, glancing down and tapping his foot against the floor.

“Oh gross, mushy feelings. Let's move on.” Ron begins to walk away, though Dean, thoughtfully, turns to the phone and dials a number quickly. 

“Hey Seamus… Oh, nothing, just thought of you, wanted to see how you are.”

“Oi, cameraman, come on!” Ron calls out and the camera moves to him. “Ignore Dean. He's way too mushy-sweet.”

“You're just jealous that you can't do that with Hermione.” A curly haired man says, rolling his eyes. Ron almost trips over his feet, glancing around quickly. 

“Woah, mate, seriously!”

“Come off it, everyone in the office knows,” The man says, grinning a wide smile while tilting back in his office chair.

“Not everyone knows!”

“Everyone knows!” Neville called from his corner, opposite of where Ron stood with the curly haired man. Ron curses under his breath, fiddling with the pen he was still holding.

“Well nothing’s gonna happen anyway, so just drop it, Harry.” Ron mumbles a bit dejectedly, taking his seat in the desk in front of Harry’s own, across the aisle from Neville. 

“What do you mean, mate? What happened?” Harry asked, leaning forward and raising his eyebrows. 

“I asked her for after work drinks and she said no.”

“Of course she wouldn't want to join a bunch of stinkin’ men after work to drink pints down at the sinkhole. You need to ask her on a proper date!”

“That wasn't it mate- she said it was inappropriate. Because we work together.”

Neville leans over, shaking his head and lacing his fingers, his elbows on his knees. “Maybe she just meant the location was inappropriate?” He suggested, raising his eyebrows.

“Yeah, yeah that's them- ok, yeah,” Dean said, louder than he's been talking before pressing his hand against the mic of the phone, turning to nod toward the boys, “Hey guys, Seamus says hi.”

Mumbled greetings and waves were met as a response before Dean went back to his phone call, Harry piping in. “I agree. There has to be something. It's obvious you guys are made for each other.”

“I don't know,” Ron mumbles, twisting the pen he still holds, studying it.

“Don't give up, mate.” Neville said, patting Ron's arm before turning back to his work. The boys all begin their paperwork again, Ron sighing and rubbing his eyes before setting the pen aside and picking up one that had already been laying on his desk, beginning his own work as well.

-

“This is the Fitzgerald company. We work in the accounting department, in the Wiltshire branch, number two-zero-four-five-nine.” Draco laces his fingers together, placing them over his stomach, his elbows resting on the armrests of his chair. “I am the boss of this department, I make sure my employees work runs smoothly and that every quota is met. I handle the sales department in the floor below as well, though they have their own manager watching the employees of that floor that reports back to me, since I cannot be in two places at once. Below that, on the ground floor is the shipping department. They have things coming in, things leaving, so please don't bother them. They're busy. They have a manager that reports to me as well.” He stops, tapping his fingers and he glances between the cameraman and the piece of equipment. “Are we done? Because I have actual work to get to.”

A knock sounds at the door and Draco clears his throat, calling out a “Come in,” and glancing up toward his door. The dark skinned man enters, Harry, who startles slightly at the camera before blinking and glancing back toward Draco.

“Uh, Mister Malfoy, sorry to interrupt.”

“No interruption, I was done. What do you need, Harry?” Draco asks, raising his eyebrows. 

“I just- uh- wanted to ask if you received the request form for better coffee in the breakroom?” Harry asked, fidgeting slightly as he stands a step inside the room, biting his lip.

“The one Ronald Weasley turned in? I have to admit, anytime I see his name I usually just toss it immediately into the trash bin.” Draco states, searching around his desk.

“Oh, did you?” Harry asks, furrowing his brow. “Do that? Throw it away, I mean?”

“What? Oh, no, I saw your signature so I put it here somewhere.” Draco mumbles before his eyebrows lift and he pulls a sheet of paper out. “Ah, here, right. Well, even though I appreciate the  _ Reason Why _ section being filled out as ‘Because the coffee here sucks,’ I need a more in depth reason. And if corporate is going to approve it, it needs to be a good one.” He holds the paper out for Harry, raising his eyes to him. “Change it to something about how better caffeine intake would help job performance. Maybe even write a bullshit essay and tag it onto the back. It doesn't need to be in depth, just paste some statistics from studies about energy and caffeine and then get five signatures around the floor and bring it back.”

Harry takes a few steps forward quickly, taking ahold of the paper nervously. “Oh- uh- thank you so much Dra-” Harry coughs, a red tint rising to his cheeks, “Mister Malfoy.” He stands there for a moment, Draco just watching him thoughtfully before Harry raises his eyebrows and continues. “I was actually going to ask, about- Well, did you maybe want to join my friends and me?” He pauses before rushing to continue, “For after work drinks I mean. Down at the sinkhole- or, I mean, that's what we call it. The name of it is the Basement Cure. It's literally just a block from this building. It has a picture of a potion on the sign,” Harry trails off, glancing down toward the paperwork in his hand before clearing his throat, intending to stop there.

Draco blinks a few times before glancing down toward his desk, splaying his hands over it as if he doesn't know where exactly to put his hands. “Oh, well, I would, Harry. But I doubt your friends want your boss to hang around after work. I doubt you’d all be able to properly relax with me there.” There's a silence before he glances up toward Harry, a slightly pained smile on his face. “Besides, all I’d be thinking about would be numbers and meetings, you know me.” He lets out a awkward laugh, glancing back down toward his desk and lacing his fingers once again.

“Right! No, you're right. It was silly of me.” Harry stands there for a moment before jumping slightly, as if realizing he was still standing there yet not saying anything. “Right, well, I'll get back to work! Thanks for the advice Dra- Mister Malfoy.” Harry glances toward the camera once before moving and rushing out of the office, closing the door behind him.

-

“Hey there Hermione. I see how you are  _ not _ in a phone call right now.” Ron says, moving to lean against the high counter of her desk. Hermione rolls her eyes, trying to suppress a smile but not quite managing it.

“How observant of you, Ron.” She replies, keeping her attention on her computer screen. 

“I just wanted to return this pen. I realized I walked off with it, and I didn't mean to.” He said, placing the pen back into the holder he had taken it from, smiling down at her. 

“Oh,” She begins, surprised, turning to glance up to Ron. “How thoughtful of you, thank you.”

“Oh. Hey, you want to help me with a prank?” Ron whispers excitedly, leaning over the counter and wiggling his eyebrows quickly. Hermione sighs, shaking her head, though with a smile.

“What is it this time?” She asks, but leans forward over her desk to listen. 

“Look, my brothers invented this pill. You drop it in some water and whoever drinks it gets their hair dyed a random colour!” Ron says excitedly, grinning. “The more diluted it is then the less amount of time it lasts. Say if I put it in one of the water cooler cups full of water, it'd probably last a month- but!” He wiggles his eyebrows again and Hermione giggles, “If I put it into the water cooler  _ itself _ and someone drinks it, it'll only last like a few hours at most.” 

Hermione shakes her head, but smiles. “The first person to drink it will have their hair change and then no one else will drink it. Then the entire water cooler is wasted.” She says, raising her eyebrows.

“See, I thought of that!” Ron says quickly, smiling. “This pill is a time delayed one, I had it made especially for this instance. From the moment I put it in the tank and it dissolves completely, the effect won't happen for three hours. Then, after the time is up, anyone who drank it will have their hair change simultaneously!”

Hermione raises her eyebrows before laughing and shaking her head. “You're a menace!”

“Yes, yes, I know. And devilishly handsome. Now do me a favour and make sure no one is looking!” Ron quickly steps over toward the water cooler next to Hermione’s desk, withdrawing his wand and creating a circle in the plastic to drop the pill into. Hermione immediately straightens, glancing around the office and making sure no one is watching. Ron replaces the plastic, tucking his wand away before grabbing a small cup from the top of the cooler, watching until the pill disintegrates entirely before getting a cup. He turns to Hermione, grinning broadly and downing the cup. They both glance at the clock situated above the door to Draco’s office, three hours counting down to be five minutes before they all leave work.

Hermione giggles, shaking her head and sitting.

-

A pale girl with a black bob haircut walks up to the water cooler, taking a cup and filling it as she spoke to her friend. “I'm just saying, going after someone in sales in a bit beneath you Blaise.”

“Pansy. She may be beneath me in the job pyramid, but she's a solid nine on a good day.” He responds, grabbing a cup and filling it up himself, glancing over and noticing the cameraman. “Wait- a camera? Here? Granger, why wasn't I informed?” Blaise called over, grinning toward it.

“It's a documentary, Blaise, not a fashion show.” She answers blandly, shuffling papers around on her desk in search of something. 

“A camera is a camera darling,” He answers, winking toward the lens before taking a drink. Pansy just rolls her eyes, smacking his arm.

“Stop being so self centered, it's not a good look for you.”

“Honey, it's the best look on me.” He replies, winking toward her before they both laugh and shake their head. Suddenly the door to Draco’s office opens nearby, and both jump, tossing their cups into the nearby trash can and practically running off to their seats. 

Draco strides out, immediately up toward Hermione’s desk. “Did I get that call from St Mungo’s yet?” He asks, slightly leaning against the counter. Hermione glances up quickly, stopping with her fiddling and lacing her hands together on her lap.

“I haven't received any phone calls from them. Would you like me to contact them instead?” She asks, raising her eyebrows. Draco sighs, shaking his head and patting his hand on the desk.

“No, no. They said they would call. This is just- it's an important client for this company. If I can make this sale go through then I could push for those bonuses I've been wanting to do for everyone.” He whispered over to her, and she nods quickly, smiling toward him.

“Oh, wow. That'd be great. I know you've been wanting to do that all year.”

“I'm hoping to get it by Christmas,” Draco mumbles, glancing toward the rest of the floor to make sure no one is listening. “I just hope I can do it. Everyone works so hard.”

Hermione raises a hand up, placing it on top of Draco’s own. “Don't worry, boss. I have full faith in you. And it's not your fault if you can't get it through. No one has had a bonus in this department for awhile, I know it’s a hard sell to corporate.” Draco nods, smiling toward her before withdrawing his hand. He stops by the water cooler, getting a drink before going back to his office, closing the door behind him. Hermione’s eyes are glued to the water cooler now though, opened wide in horror.

-

Ron leads his friends over, grabbing a drink from the cooler and watching as the three of his friends do so as well, Harry speaking up and holding out a packet of papers. “So as I was saying I just need your signatures-”

“I thought we already signed for that.” Neville said, furrowing his brow and taking it to read it. 

“Yeah, I just decided to rewrite a few things before it's sent up to corporate, y'know? Touch some stuff up.” Harry replies, biting his lip as he watches the paper carefully, taking a drink of his water. Neville takes a pen from his breast pocket, signing under Harry’s name before passing it down. Dean finishes his drink and tosses the cup before taking the paper and pen. 

“I can't believe we're gonna get better coffee finally! I've been dying with that cheap shite.” Ron says, taking the paper and signing it before handing it back to Harry.

“Oh, it's not guaranteed yet or anything,” Harry says, furrowing his brow. 

“Come on mate. Everyone knows that if it has to do with you then Malfoy will do everything in his power to make it happen.” Harry shakes his head slowly as the other three nod their heads. Harry blinks, glancing down toward the paper thoughtfully. The boys begin to wander off but Harry sighs, moving to Hermione’s desk. 

“Hey. I have four signatures on this but Draco suggested five. Would you mind signing?” Harry asks, smiling big and clasping his hands together after putting the paper down in an imitation of begging. Hermione laughs, shaking her head.

“What is it, Harry?”

“Just a request form for better coffee.” Harry says, pushing the form forward toward her.

“Oh finally! That dirtwater is rubbish in there.” She expresses, quickly signing the paper and placing it in a plastic placeholder. Harry hesitates, watching her do this but she glances up, smiling. “Don't worry! I'll make sure Mister Malfoy gets this.”

“Oh! Right! Secretary and all.” Harry says, laughing and pointing toward Hermione before moving to go back to his desk.

“Oh, hey, Harry? Could you hand me a cup of water before you go?”

“What? Oh, sure.” He wanders over, filling up a cup and handing it to her before moving back to his desk.

Hermione waits for Ron to glance over, admittedly not waiting for very long, before she smiles and toasts her cup to him, drinking the water. Ron smiles brightly and blushes slightly, leaning forward to continue working with a smile that won't fade away.

-

It happened as quickly as a snap of fingers, when everyone's hair changed. It was followed up by a shriek from Pansy, laughter from Ron, and almost everyone in the room standing up to look around before looking at their own hair. It seemed no one was spared the prank, wildly fluctuating colours everywhere. Ron’s hair was coloured a bright blue, clashing horribly with his skin and making him laugh harder once he had seen his reflection in the metal of a filing cabinet. Harry’s was green, but he was chuckling along with Ron. Neville’s was a bright red, Dean’s a more pastel blue than Ron’s. Pansy and Blaise, at the other end of the office stood as well; Pansy’s hair was now blonde and she was furious, Blaise chuckling at everyone even though his light dusting of hair was now a shocking purple colour. Hermione herself stood with bushy pastel lavender hair, complimenting her skin tone nicely. She bit her lip to keep herself from laughing. 

Suddenly the door to the office opened and Draco marched out, looking furious with pastel pink hair. “Who did this?”

All laughter ceased and it was quiet for a moment before Ron took a few steps forward.

“It'll only last a few hours, I’m sorr-”

“Ronald Weasley. What did I say about pranks last time?” Draco practically yelled, anger filling the room.

“I know, Sir, I'm sorry. Honestly.”

“Honestly?” Draco asked, disbelief obviously colouring his tone.

“I'm sorry for you, yes. I didn't think you'd drink the water from the cooler. I didn't mean to pull you into this.” Everything was quiet as the entire floor of employees stared at them, Draco glancing around at all the people and wild hair. His eyes landing on Harry before moving quickly back to Ron.

“Don't do it again, Weasley.” He said, turning around and slamming the door behind himself. Everyone deflated, wide eyes glancing around the room. Since everyone was standing already and it was so close to closing time, people just began gathering their things and heading out. Hermione took a deep breath, leaning down to begin placing things into her suitcase to bring home.

Ron stopped by the reception desk where Hermione works, tapping it with his hand. “I'm heading out. But I just want to say that you look amazing with that colour.” He smiled softly toward her before heading out, bumping shoulders with Neville. Hermione’s eyes followed him, biting her lip and watching him leave before shaking her head and leaning down to continue what she was doing.

-

Draco, hair that had been white and slicked back but now fell loosely and pink, picks up a dove chocolate from his desk, glancing down at it. "I have a bit of a sweet tooth. No one really knows, I think." He talks quietly, opening the foil on the chocolate slowly, smiling softly. "Uh, I like these 'cause they have little sayings sometimes on the inside of the wrapper. Like-" He laughed, shaking his head, "On my birthday I opened one and it said 'Happy Unbirthday!' How much of a coincidence is that, am I right?" He chuckles again, taking a bite of the chocolate before reading the foil. He blinks a few times, before placing it on the desk and continuing to enjoy his chocolate, thoughtfully.   
A knock sounds at the door, and Harry pokes his green-haired head inside. "Hey, we're all heading out. Just wanted to say bye." He smiles, nodding as Draco says goodbye as well before closing the door and leaving, slinging his coat on. Draco sighs, standing, moving to grab his coat. The cameraman moves to pick up the wrapper, it reading, 'Everyone has a happy ending. If you're not happy, it's not the end.' Draco opens the door, watching Harry leave as he puts his scarf around his neck.


End file.
